I was poking around on my Facebook friends and creeped on one that was part of my early days on my own.  I haven't heard a word from him since I requested his friendship a few years back.  I then noticed he has a couple of friends who were also a part of that crew of acquaintances.  It was a surprise to read their profiles and see their photos.  What a jolt.

When I met them all, I had just moved 200 miles away from home, to a small Christian college town.  Complete independence from rather strict parents- complete jubilation.  When there was a dance or something social, I stayed on campus with a female friend from back home.  It was a heady experience.  I was ready to reinvent myself or really, just be myself which during this time, was out- of -control and rambunctious.  I didn't do well at keeping my head together.  I had been so cloistered and denied freedoms that I went overboard.  You know- all that entails... I figure that's not that uncommon.  Many people have gone through similar experiences.   But when I saw these people again, I thought about all the things I had done, all the wrongs that had occurred and it made me feel very badly, very regretful.

I guess I hate that I made certain choices and the results were not what I would have hoped for.  I think I expected myself to be more together that I ever could have been at that age or juncture.  And I can't sugar coat what happened since I'm pretty much a realist.  I was a mess.

My question:  How do any of you let go of your regrets?  Are you good at looking at those past parts of your life and telling yourself it had it's good side and it's bad side and then *poof*- done?


Have a swell day.

Whatdefinesme

No Misunderstandings Here

Okay, let's deal with the name of this blog right off the bat.

 I grew up the youngest of three children in Missouri, always occupying the middle of the backseat (aka-the hump) when we traveled anywhere.  Many trips were to Michigan where my mom was from so 12 hours were spent trying to stay upright, out of trouble and entertained enough not to mention I was bored.  I learned quickly to enjoy the view out the window and get lost in it.  Quiet, well-behaved, just a slight blip of a person.

No longer in the backseat, only the driver's seat.  Still quiet, still well-behaved to the quick-moving eye,  more than a slight blip of a person.  Old as I am though, I still look out the window and enjoy the view.

I have blogged before, nothing but a daily ramble.  I stopped blogging a couple years ago. Now I find myself wanting anonymity instead of the touchy-feeliness, gripey, soapboxiness of Facebook, people constantly keeping an eye on me.  I think I need the blog experience again.  So here I am. It's been a while but I think what I'm feeling is excitement.

Whatdefinesme